


Mutually Assured Sarcasm

by Trinz



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 19:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7946824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trinz/pseuds/Trinz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being stuck in a post-battle party Hanzo thought he'd spend the rest of his night trying not to die of boredom, but instead, he found someone who could only be his soulmate. Someone as equally uptight and snobbish as him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mutually Assured Sarcasm

Hanzo gazed upon the group of partying Overwatch members resentfully. A sneer and a pair of crossed arms matched his scathing look, perfectly displaying his distaste for being forced to join the festivities.

After situating himself in a darkly lit corner that he felt accurately described his mood, he scanned the room for anyone that may be approaching him, and sent them away with a piercing glare.

During one of his scans he saw something in the corner of his eye. A dark skinned woman in bright blue clothing. Hanzo was about to turn away when he realized she was also crossing her arms, and her posture signaled that she liked being present as little as he did.

When he looked back at her face he found that she was also addressing him. Before he could look away she looked up and they locked eyes. A silent conversation passed between them in that moment. It ended with a curt nod, and a well-suppressed smile.

Hanzo spent the next few minutes migrating out of his corner and closer to the slightly glowing woman, knowing she was discreetly doing the same. As soon as they got within a foot of each other they didn’t acknowledge the other’s presence, but instead, in unison, spat out a single word.

“Idiots.”

Hanzo could tell, without looking at her, that she was also gazing at their teammates. Her voice shared the same qualities as his in that single word; agitation and boredom, with just a hint of affection that neither dared bring to light.

“Do you want some tea?” Hanzo realized, after a few moments of silence, that he’d have to start the pleasantries.

The woman turned to look at him, then raked her eyes up and down him. Hanzo resisted the urge to straighten up his clothing under her judging gaze, and instead returned with a neutral, but inquiring look.

Seemingly satisfied she spoke again. “I can’t imagine that any of our teammates could make _decent_ tea.”

Hanzo’s gaze hardened at that. “My brother and I made the tea ourselves with a family recipe.”

The woman’s eyes narrowed. “I did not mean to insult you or your family,” suddenly she waved her arms and a table with two chairs and a couple cups appeared from light, “but please, show me this tea.”

She sat down as he left to get a pitcher, but he could feel her eyes on him the entire way.

He walked smoothly, betraying no hint that he was in a hurry to bring the tea back. Once he returned he calmly poured them both some tea, then sat down after placing the pitcher in the middle of the table.

Hanzo watched her as she picked the cup up and blew on it lightly, before taking a sip. After the small taste she set the cup down.

“My name is Satya Vaswani, it is a pleasure to meet you.”

“As to you, Satya.” He nodded respectfully at her. “I am Hanzo Shimada.”

 

They spent the next hour talking, mostly complaining about their idiot teammates, and predictably, Hanzo found himself talking about Jesse McCree. He stopped mid-sentence when he realized that Satya stopped contributing to the conversation, and was, instead, looking at him amusedly.

He demanded at once to know why she was looking at him like that.

She took a long sip of tea before replying. “You do not seem like the kind of man to fall for a ‘dirty cowboy’.”

Hanzo froze immediately, then quickly regained his composure and picked up his cup of tea. “You do not know what you’re talking about.”

“In denial, are we?”

“Yes, we both are, considering how you talked about Fareeha.” He took that moment to drink from his cup, which stealthily hid his smile.

Satya gaped at him, disarmed for a moment, but only just a moment. “Stalemate.”

“You brought it up.” Hanzo pointed at as he set his cup down.

“And you are more observant than I thought.” 

Hanzo shrugged. “I’m a sniper, it’s be observant or be shot.”

After that their conversation turned less hostile, and less formal. They found that conversation flowed smoothly between them, as long as they avoided sensitive topics like feelings and their pasts. Their conversation finally ended when a drunk Jesse McCree stumbled over and wrapped his metal arm around Hanzo’s neck and started dragging him off his chair, singing some Western song about love. The only thing that stopped Hanzo from flipping him onto his back was that Satya’s beautiful table was in the way, along with his mostly-consumed tea.

Also, Satya’s small smile and a subtle thumbs up made him hesitate, which allowed the cowboy to get a good grip on him and drag him out the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Hanzo: *sips tea* But that's none of my business
> 
> Comments are my lifeblood, so they're much appreciated, thanks!


End file.
